Moving

No, not where I live. As previously mentioned, I have no money or job or prospects for either, and until those things materialize I will continue to live with my mom, who is very kindly supporting my foray into insanity. Which is very kind of her, and also crucially important both to my financial situation so I can have time to make art and to my emotional health so that I can feel ok about doing so (it's really important for me to feel supported by someone, that this isn't a completely insane thing for me to be doing, even if that person is my mom, and the love and support is more or less unconditional and not based solely on artistic merit).
I am, however, thinking of moving to a new blog address and (having now just signed up for accounts on etsy and youtube) trying my hand at making some videos and selling my art. Because I need to stop sitting around, thinking I'm just as good as these other people, and why do they have huge followings and I don't, and get out there and try. Trying is, at least for the moment, just as important (if not more important) than succeeding.
Unfortunately, this plan is slightly more challenging due to the fact that I don't really have the necessary technology. Sure, I have a digital camera, and it takes video, but it's quite crappy, and so my pictures of my art don't really do them any justice. Also, I only have a 1gb card, so who knows how much video I can capture? Probably not much... well, t says 12 minutes, but I have about 30 pics on it at the moment. Maybe my brother will let my borrow his nice camera or Friedman will, or something, and I'm thinking about asking for a video camera for Christmas or something. We'll see.

Graduated like a measuring cup

And not enjoying it at all.

Every time I listen to the music that used to make me happy, that held so many memories of everything from painting the Shiva, to spinning fire, to just hanging out, I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. Tracking Treasure Down is the worst.

Still not employed. This is a problem, as I am rapidly running out of money.

I don't like living at home. I don't like not being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want. My mom never says no precisely, just guilt trips me. Yes, I know Mike has been out til 4 every night all week, so you haven't slept, and this is the one night hes in the house. But this is the night MY friends are going out, and I haven't been out all week. F my life.

I need to get some serious art done, and finish cleaning, write more thank you notes, send more resumes, etc. But to hell with productivity. I'm going to walk to the lake and spin some poi and maybe draw for a bit.

Tomorrow I'm going up to Vassar to see Danielle and work out an act for Wildfire's performance class.