Anger!

I'm super ticked off right now. I got a new flip ultra hd for xmas, and today, I tried to record some art journal stuff so I could post my first video after the new year. Unfortunately, my camera was low on batteries. So, I plugged it in to my laptop to charge. (like my other camera, when you plug it in, it auto opens it's software). So about an hour and a half later, I push the little eject icon like I would for my ipod, then unplug it. When I then tried to turn it on, nothing happened. So I plugged it back into my laptop, which no longer recognizes it at all. Well, fmylife. So I go hunting through the flip website for something helpful, only to learn that the eject icon is not actually enough. Just because the software no longer sees your camera, it's not safe to remove it. You must close the software and "safely remove hardware" in my computer. Otherwise, you risk permanently corrupting the camera. Good to know, now that I've done it. Why the fuck would you put in an eject button if it doesn't eject the camera? Just so I'll be fucked? I've emailed their tech support and supposedly they'll get back to me within 24 hours. Which is dandy, except I'd kinda like the camera to work on New Years Eve. And oh yeah, now, when I was trying to use it. Sometimes, I hate technology.

Wow

No, seriously. This is epic. And brilliant. And perfectly executed. I'm in love. Go. Now. Why are you still reading this, and not downloading Blame it on the Pop?

thnks fr th mmrs

Do you remember when we went out in any weather, pretended to be wizards and stayed up all night. When glitter and top hats and tutus were worn without reason, or concern for what anyone else might say? When pajamas were selected for snugglyness and excellent patterns, not for how sexy someone else would think you looked in them? And everything else was to? What happened to that? Where did those people go? Who stole my magic? I keep trying to blame it on external forces, but the truth is, I did it to myself. Slowly, I let other people tell me who to be and where to go and what to do and what to want. I bet you did too. I ignored myself long enough, hoping I'd just go away and be left with who I was "supposed" to be. But that is so not happening. Normally, when I realize that this is what I've done to myself, and why I'm so unhappy, I get angry and decide to basically tell everyone to go fuck themselves, but in the morning, I can't actually tell my mom to bug off, so I slip back into my old pattern. This time, I'm going to try a different approach. Slower. I'm going to buy a video camera and make art and try to work on writing a book. We'll see.

First Snow

Outside my window, soft, not as cold as it seems it should be. The world is subsumed, hard edges of reality softened and melted into white rounds. Wind defeats gravity and retrieves deposited powder, lifts it into swirls and billows that obscure the streetlight. The day was darkly grey, but the night is bright, refracting, reflecting, amplifying ambient light to create a silvered illumination to rival the sun and dwarf the hidden moon. If only everything could be this beautiful forever, empty chill world drawing me to walk forever, rediscover the infinite in the landscape I trudge through daily. But in the morning, modernity will eclipse beauty, and society will choose convenience over magic. My shrill alarm will wake me to a world ravaged by plows, footprints, salt, and noise. The grey asphalt will be uncovered, and noises of life will resume. The neighbor's angry dog will warn the snow away, cars will burst through the slush in their hurry to resume normalcy. Tonight's perfect hush and blissful white will be muddied, muddled and shoveled aside. And I will worry about waterproofing and warmth and productivity, forgetting what is revealed every first snow, leaving this serenity for the comforting weight of the expected. Tonight's joy will be erased in the necessary tasks of the day, and I will bundle and grouse about the inconvenience and cold with everyone else. But for now, the snow is a miracle. Glory and magic and possibilities. If the world can bring this, anything must be possible, even probable.
And if I had snowboots and my mom wouldn't be difficult, I'd go explore. Alas, there is no traying party to create, no golf course to disappear into. So I guess I'll just dream and sleep and wish.

Enough is enough

Ok, look. I love Snape. I think he's hilarious and awesome, and frankly, Alan Rickman could read the telephone book and make it sexy. But some people are taking this shit a bit too far, this was on today's texts from last night:
(201): My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Unlike the girl a few weeks ago getting tattooed with the Boondock Saints' prayer, this is just sad. No awesomeness. 1st off, the saints' prayer is awesome in and of itself, (So we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be - a thousand times better than hail Mary full of grace) and secondly, it does not say you are property of a fictional character. Unlike books, people are not property. I get the reference. It's not like I don't understand. Unfortunately, this is one of those things where the more you get it, the more pathetic your tattoo becomes. Well, I suppose, there's a moment of improvement when someone realizes that the half-blood prince is Snape and not Potter, but many people won't even get that far. So you're getting a tramp stamp which announces you as property of a fictional character and where many people will incorrectly assume said character is an annoying 17 yr old emo boy. One day, when you are 50 (actually, probably long before then) you will massively regret this.

Plauge sucks

I am sick. My nose is stuffed and I feel icky. I want to be able to either give in and just collapse or tell the cold to go to hell and just get up and paint. But I really have too much to do for either of those to be viable options. Instead, I slept late, and my plan for the day revolves around bed, tea, knitting, and painting cards. Why must I still make at least another half dozen cards? I feel like I've been doing this forever. I'm suddenly so glad that only about 15 of my friends responded(well, ok, so some of them live together, so they only get one card for multiple people). Time for another card background and maybe a shower. Then more knitting while I watch serenity (finally). I live such an exciting life, here in my world of pjs and tissues. Why are we out of the tea I like? And out of honey? I am not pleased.

Excellence and amazement

Making good progress on the holiday cards I'm painting- 7 almost finished, plus completed backgrounds for 6 more- this means only details and stamping remain for those, and 8 more backgrounds. Also, a couple of really good paintings finished or in the works...
I saw a really inspirational exhibit of Georgia O'Keefe's abstract work at the Whitney on Saturday, which was good. Makes me excited about color and watercolors all over again, so I'm playing a bunch with those.
My knitting projects are going well, still have to do David's hat, plus the one for the grab bag, and I got this amazingly beautiful yarn for a scarf for me once that's all done.
Today, I went to the Tuba Christmas at Rockefeller Center. It was fun, albeit very wet. And I was slightly disappointed to discover that Tubas on Ice doesn't mean they skate while they play, rather that they stand on mats which have been rolled onto the ice and the stage behind the rink. But still, an army of tubas playing Christmas carols is win.
But mostly, I'm in a really good mood because today I got a job! Yes, that's right, gainful employment, where they pay me. $20 an hour, about 15 hours a week, mostly from home, managing the yoga studio my mom and I go to. And I'm probably going to take a couple of classes next semester, psych and art, at Hunter in the city, so that I can think about going to grad school for art therapy at some point.
So basically, I'm feeling really good about all that. Money and classes and art. A good direction for my life. Now if only I had a circus to play with and a way to live somewhere other than with my mom, everything would be pretty much perfect, but still, can't complain.

I think I'm in love

So, a couple of weeks ago I went to the Met to hang out in the Greek/Roman wing and do some sketches. It was disappointing, and very full of people. It had lost the magical old-world "British Library feeling".
Yesterday, I decided to go to the Cloisters (which is the Met's medieval building, in Fort Tyron Park). I'd never been before. It had the "British Library feeling" 100%. It was amazing. Where has this place been all my life? I don't even find the medieval art particularly interesting in general, but the cloisters are made of old stone and magic. I had a great time. And the park is lovely.
Then I went on a failed quest for a few knitting things I needed, met up with Jove (spent way too long in St. Mark's comics, but they had the end of the Joss Whedon Astonishing x-men run, which I'd been on a quest for for like a year and a half). Then we found Jon and Robin, had really cheap, but good, Indian and saw The Blind Side, which was good.
Today, I am going back into the city to meet Jove for some sort of free "NYC Jedi" show (sounds weird, but might be fun) and then Jon and Robing and some people they know to go to a bar. It will be a good weekend.
Except that everyone else has snow, and I just have yucky rain. Who ordered this weather?