There is no way to avoid feeling shitty on Valentine's Day. Let's be honest, I could list 50 real reasons why I'm opposed to Valentine's day, and I do. But those are not the cause of my hatred. They are rationalizations, designed to hide this fundamental truth: Valentine's Day sucks. It makes me miserable. No amount of productivity, shitty romance movies and hagen das can even begin to compare with how bad this day makes me feel, even when I pretend it isn't happening. I hate Valentines Day, I hate being single, and I hate the fact that it comes right before my birthday so all the progress of months of telling myself that I'm awesome and everything will work itself out gets stomped on today, so when we get to my birthday there is no chance of me feeling anything but awful. Writing cards to my friends to tell them how much I love them and doing thumbnails for my stroke comic hasn't exactly helped either. This is one of those depressing posts I should just delete. It's only going to make me feel worse when no one responds. I wish I were the sort of girl who could just go out and pick up some random stranger for sex. At least then I'd be pathetic and getting laid, rather than just pathetic. Stupid standards. Stupid self respect. FML.
At least my teddy bear is good for cuddles. I need a hug.