So the drama!

Over the last week, there has been far, far too much drama in my life. And not the kind with tech crews and auditions. And I have run out of patience for it. In the next day or so, I'll be sending out the following email to, well, more or less everyone. I realize this may make things worse, but I refuse to keep pretending everything is ok, and hopefully, direct acknowledgment of the issues may make things better. The email:
Apparently, people have a lot of issues with me. I'm running out of time/energy/stationary to send everyone personalized engraved invitations to talk to me about it, so this is a general note to everyone:
1) I know I can be a bitch. It is usually intended kindly, but much of it can be based in a desire to make other people confront stuff they aren't ready for and to move in the direction of my idea of being a better person. This may be unreasonable, and if so, I apologize.
2) One of the things that apparently people have issues with is me calling other people on their BS, which they think is unfair. I don't think there is much I can do about this, I am going to call people out and talk to them about it if I disagree with them. I work stuff out by talking about it, both to figure out what I'm thinking and what I want, and to actually resolve issues. And I don't say things when you aren't around that I don't say to your face, because I think it's tacky. If I call you on stuff, it doesn't mean I don't like you, or that I am a hypocrite. If you think something I'm doing or saying is BS, please, please, call me on it.
3) If I am offending you personally, please let me know when I am saying something that bothers you. I want to stop that. But I don't know if when I'm making a joke, you say nothing because it doesn't bother you, or because you are afraid to call me on it. If you tell me, I can stop saying whatever it was. Otherwise I don't know that it is a problem.
In summation, it is easier to just deal with it when issues come up. Please, if you have problems, lets just sort it out now rather than waiting until it piles up any further. There isn't enough time before graduation (or even in my life) for this nonsense. I don't like passive-aggressive BS where everyone pretends its ok, but things are fucked up. I realize that some of you might be comfortable with that, and it might be selfish for me to try to move it to direct resolution, because I might be more comfortable with that than other people. But I legitimately believe that is the best and possibly only way to solve things. Feel free to try to convince me otherwise. I have issues, but fragility is not one of them. I will not break if you tell be I'm being loud and annoying, or that you don't like when I do x other thing.
Hugs and kisses,
Felicia
PS Commencement is Wednesday, which means that Freshmen officially become Sophmores etc. Thus, in 3 days, the gold star system will change as follows: you may earn gold stars by doing things which 1) are excellent and 2) you might not normally do. Note: 1 is crucial. You might not normally kill someone, but doing so will not earn you a star. Probably. I will try to carry the stars around, so when you earn one, you can recieve it right away.
/> email
Other than dealing with drama, I am mostly trying to deal with mountains of schoolwork. This week: 2 presentations. Next week: a paper, a portfolio, and a final, also DJing the Farm Rave. Week after that: a paper and a final. Week after that, graduation, and collapse. Also, I must clean my room, pack etc before graduation.
Not to mention the large chunks of my life that are being eaten by the indoor Tarot Card monkey show.
I'm also trying to make more art. Friday I started a painting I've been planning for a while, and a necklace I've been planning longer (buttons!). I also started a new art journal.
Also, I love the heat, but this is getting absurd. 93 degrees on Tuesday? Really? I'm running out of clothes that are decent enough to wear in public, and cool enough not to melt.
Leaving Ferry after the Yoshitoshi show Friday night, I had the distinct realization of what Matt Wise must feel like all the time. I am not at all a sweaty person, but 2 1/2 hours of hardcore dancing in 85 degree heat makes you a sweaty person. Ew.

You need a lotta love and compliance

So I have Ani DiFranco's Freakshow stuck in my head. Apt in so many ways right now. Circus obsessed and emo, all at once. I want to be anti-social and then snuggle. But alas, it is not to be.
My keyboard is being dumb (esp. the A key), and I have Econ shit to read, so this will be a short filler post until I have time for a full recap of Wildfire.
Wildfire was cold, wet, and awesome!
I am totally exhausted. Everything hurts. But at least I've showered now.
My midterm was less horrific than I feared. Apparently, I really don't need to do any work. Ever. Yeah, until my grades come back.
Ice cream is delicious, and I want some. And a coke. Then reading and bed.

All over the place

Just got back from Rosh Hashanah at home... its nice to see my family, but I was really too tired for the whole big meal with grandparents friends bit.
My hair is green. I don't like it nearly as much as the purple. Sad.
Sarah Palin makes me cry. Mom and I think Angelina Jolie would be a much better VP. Same baby-toting photo-ops, more racial diversity. More foreign policy/diplomatic experience (works for a human rights org). Probably more assistants to manage than there are people in a 9000 person Alaska town. Better fashion sense. Better looking. More experience with the press. Better acting skills. Comes with a better first dude. Seriously, if we're going to pick someone just because they're a woman who looks good and knows how to fire a gun, I want to pick someone who comes with a cute man who looks good in a tux. Huzzah for equal opportunity objectification.
I really want to do some art, but I keep getting distracted.
I really want to sleep more, but I want the end of Step Up 2 to load first.
I'm going to be Harley Quinn for Halloween, I just ordered all the bits of my costume. Yay!
I need to do a serious amount of HW but still don't care enought to bother... my first midterm is next Monday, then I have a presentation Thursday. Have I studied/prepared/read/done anything for these classes or my others? NO. HA. I'm fucked.
Wildfire is this weekend, I am excited but need to do some serious prep for that. Yeah, in my spare time.

Fell off the earth

Ok, I know I fell off the earth when I came back to school, but we were talking about Stacey's blog last night, so I thought I'd update. Finally.
So, world's shortest synopsis of my life:
VT- Shiva Rave was awesome!
Monkeys- Lots of new frosh. Yay! Unfortunately, stuff isn't going as well as I hoped. But my expectations were unreasonably high. I am so short on patience for this nonsense. Luckily, Ashlyn and Stacey and Christopher, an odd enough group, are keeping me sane-ish. The fire show turned out fine, I just didn't have a very good time. This weekend we had a party that was not what I needed at all.
I am suddenly super angsty and depressed again. Maybe I'll get some sleep and actually be able to enjoy Wildfire this weekend.
I am taking an awesome online class with Suzi Blu on mixed media painting but I have had almost no time to work on it.
I've also done no school work. I have a midterm in a week. This is going to bite me in the ass, isn't it.